Let's Not Rush This, OK?

by Gene Taylor

I was just getting over the uneasiness I had felt over the confusion caused by the mix-up in identities of me and another "Eugene Taylor" who had died. As a matter of fact, I was starting to feel pretty good about myself.

I was luxuriating in the compliments many had given me because I had lost weight. Since I was feeling younger I guess I thought I was looking younger too. For a man in his mid-forties, I thought, I must cut a fairly dashing figure.

I was going to treat myself. Just deviate from my diet a little bit and enjoy a hamburger. I had not had one in almost three months (I've had alot of chicken but little beef). I was hungry for the taste of beef.

Even in this slight deviation I was complimenting myself that I was still exercising self-control. I would get a "Whopper" at Burger King (broiled not fried) and not get any mayonnaise on it (keep the fat as low as possible). Really, the truth is, I saw on their sign that a "Whopper" was only 99 cents and the Scottish ancestry in me couldn't resist the bargain.

I ordered the sandwich (no fries -- too fatty) and a small diet Coke (My Scottish heritage kicked in again for when I saw there were free refills I thriftily ordered the small size).

The cashier told me, "$1.33." What a bargain I thought. How proud I was of myself again -- a whole sandwich and all the drinks I wanted for such a small amount of money. Feeling quite smug, I looked at the ticket, admiring my wisdom. Then I saw it. My bill was so small because I was charged for a "Senior Coke." A senior citizen's discount at age 45!

I slumped to the table, slowly gummed my sandwich and could barely get the Coke down. Life as we know it -- over at 45.

"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." (Proverbs 16:18)